It’s hard to eat healthy on a budget. I realized that after I tried to plan out a...
full of emotions…
Fathers Day coming in a week….
and he isn’t here
Leaving the only home I have never known….
knowing that I can never come home
Foolishly falling for him….
I wish it wasn’t so
Feeling of being torn, lonely and unfulfilled.
Working on changing my perspective… becoming to hard.
I want to see my Dad next sunday, I want to come to my family home and I want to kiss his lips…..
” Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell cluth of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and trears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It mattes now how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate.
I am the captain of my soul”
This has actually turned in to a spot for me to share most of what I am feeling not through my own words but through photos, songs and others words.
I use others words when my own seem to lost in my see over anxiety and fear.
Trapped upon my tongue and my fingers can’t bare them.
On this beautiful Monday that has followed after a great but long weekend I am left to ponder.
Ponder much of everything. I wish it could be narrowed.
So far I have come done to these facts of fancy:
As my birthday approaches I miss my Father more and more.
I am not where I want to be in life but I don’t know where I want to be yet.
I am not beautiful.
I give way more then I receive.
I need to work with my hands.
For the moment I can not ponder more. The energy that I am receiving is far to muddy to handle right now.
Time to sweat out the toxins and marinate on the day.